But more than anything, I wanted to be able to walk away. And it seemed like the one thing I couldn’t do at that moment. Like my feet were glued to the pavement and my lips and tongue suddenly weren’t able to work. It was the moment I knew I had been waiting for, for so long. To tell him just how broken I felt and how empty and wrong everything felt without him next to me. That everything I did reminded me of him and no matter how hard I tried, nothing I did felt completely right. But to declare that I’m so strong and I always knew I would be okay without him holding my hand. That this is what life consists of. Of “I’m sorry’s” and “I miss you’s.” And I knew that we all had to fall at some point, but I wasn’t ready to fall. I tried to leap but had nowhere to land. “I guess I thought you’d come back.” I said with tear filled eyes. and I didn’t want him to see me weak, it was that last thing I wanted to show him. The pit of my stomach lurched forward and I think my heart fell out of my chest. I was never good at making statements but with nothing to lose, I had everything to gain. “what do you want me to say, Liza?” “I want you to say something. I wa- want you to know. I want you to understand and feel everything I felt when you decided to just leave. To just waltz out when the timing felt right for you. Well the timing wasn’t right for me. I woke up every morning with an aching heart. I hoped you would come back and every night when you wouldn’t, it felt like I was missing something. I want you to say you’re sorry, I want you to say you missed me. I want you to say that every minute you were gone that you wished you were here. I want you to say anything.” “babe..” he choked out “but most of all, I want you to know that I don’t need you. Because during the month that you decided not to visit or call or communicate, I found something that you could never give me. I found myself.” And in that instance, my feet swiftly turned me to face the sunset and I walked away from something I wasn’t sure two months ago I would ever turn my back on. I always thought I needed someone to love me. But loving myself was something I needed far more

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