For Lovers and Fighters

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Sometimes while I ride the subway I try to look at each person and imagine what they look like to someone who is totally in love with them. I think everyone has had someone look at them that way, whether it was a lover, or a parent, or a friend, whether they know it or not. It’s a wonderful thing, to look at someone to whom I would never be attracted and think about what looking at them feels like to someone who is devouring every part of their image, who has invisible strings that are connected to this person tied to every part of their body. I think this fun pastime is a way of cultivating compassion. It feels good to think about people that way, and to use that part of my mind that I think is traditionally reserved for a tiny portion of people I’ll meet in my life to appreciate the general public.
~Dean Spade


Too long of a moment

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But more than anything, I wanted to be able to walk away. And it seemed like the one thing I couldn’t do at that moment. Like my feet were glued to the pavement and my lips and tongue suddenly weren’t able to work. It was the moment I knew I had been waiting for, for so long. To tell him just how broken I felt and how empty and wrong everything felt without him next to me. That everything I did reminded me of him and no matter how hard I tried, nothing I did felt completely right. But to declare that I’m so strong and I always knew I would be okay without him holding my hand. That this is what life consists of. Of “I’m sorry’s” and “I miss you’s.” And I knew that we all had to fall at some point, but I wasn’t ready to fall. I tried to leap but had nowhere to land. “I guess I thought you’d come back.” I said with tear filled eyes. and I didn’t want him to see me weak, it was that last thing I wanted to show him. The pit of my stomach lurched forward and I think my heart fell out of my chest. I was never good at making statements but with nothing to lose, I had everything to gain. “what do you want me to say, Liza?” “I want you to say something. I wa- want you to know. I want you to understand and feel everything I felt when you decided to just leave. To just waltz out when the timing felt right for you. Well the timing wasn’t right for me. I woke up every morning with an aching heart. I hoped you would come back and every night when you wouldn’t, it felt like I was missing something. I want you to say you’re sorry, I want you to say you missed me. I want you to say that every minute you were gone that you wished you were here. I want you to say anything.” “babe..” he choked out “but most of all, I want you to know that I don’t need you. Because during the month that you decided not to visit or call or communicate, I found something that you could never give me. I found myself.” And in that instance, my feet swiftly turned me to face the sunset and I walked away from something I wasn’t sure two months ago I would ever turn my back on. I always thought I needed someone to love me. But loving myself was something I needed far more

The afterlife

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If there’s someone you absolutely miss, you might find yourself talking to them a lot in your mind, creating those fake conversations with them and you answer yourself in their voice in your head. Maybe it’s a girlfriend who dumped you or you know someone who died or that sort of thing, you adopt their personality or the memory of who they were as a means of staying close to them. People talk about spirit, but I have this idea that when we die, we’re gone. All that lives on is our memory and how we affected people, the way we changed people throughout our life. Whether you’ve had a good effect of a bad effect on people, that’s your afterlife—the people who live on after you.
~Matt Berninger


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You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

-Steve Jobs

Mooses by Ted Hughes

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The goofy Moose, the walking house frame,
Is lost
In the forest. He bumps, he blunders, he stands.

With massy bony thoughts sticking out near his ears –
Reaching out palm upwards, to catch whatever might be
falling from heaven –
He tries to think,
Leaning their huge weight
On the lectern of his front legs.

He can’t find the world!
Where did it go? What does a world look like?

The Moose
Crashes on, and crashes into a lake, and stares at the
mountain and cries:
‘Where do I belong? This is no place!’

He turns dragging half the lake out after him
And charges the crackling underbrush

He meets another Moose
He stares, he thinks: ‘It’s only a mirror!’
‘Where is the world?’ he groans. ‘O my lost world!

And why am I so ugly?
And why am I so far away from my feet?’

He weeps.
Hopeless drops drip from his droopy lips.
The other Moose just stands there doing the same.
Two dopes of the deep woods.

Happy holidays and happy new year!

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I hope you guys enjoyed your holidays. Wow I can’t believe how fast 2011 went by. I wonder how long it’s going to take me to write “2012” on papers. Anyways, I hope you had quality time with your family and loved ones! I thought this quote was cute.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

~Evan Esar

I want to thank all of my subscribers to take the time to read what I share! And also I would just like to clear something up. I have said a few times before in the comments that I DO NOT write these poems or quotes unless it says I did. I don’t want to take credit of someone else’s work. I find these poems that I’m interested in and post them on here. I never expected any subscribers to follow this blog. I did it for myself. I started this blog as a collection of things that I could relate to or enjoy. But I’m glad that other people enjoy it as well. Thanks again.


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But this isn’t about them. It’s about the things you’ve said to me in secret when you were younger, waiting for this world to gobble you up, spit your love out like sunflower seeds in summer when the days go on and on forever. How I like the way you move in your sleep. I like the way you touch the ends of my hair. Sometimes when you’re thinking about things I’m trying my hardest to figure out without asking. I’ve never wanted someone so much all of the time. Tell me this could chip the moon, this could send shivers down the spine of all those saps we ever loved before. Is it lonely to chase after things that you can only get so close to? Tossing wishes into wells, these are the things that break days. guilt and moments you can’t have when you want them most, this is the stuff in jazz music and hope, the stuff that makes poets and fills notebooks. Tell me, could the chaos ever accept you too?

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